It’s lovely, isn’t it, to have family one can rely on when times are tough. That’s true not just for  ordinary citizens but for countries, too – and that’s precisely the message Prime Minster Mette Frederiksen of Denmark sent to the world when she posted a photo of herself having dinner with her counterparts from Sweden, Finland and Norway. The photo’s message is both unmistakable and compelling. But today that commitment to friendly relations with other countries is not to be taken for granted: in fact, it’s dwindling.

It’s not easy being Denmark these days, which suddenly has to defend itself not just against subversive Russian activities (hint: shadow fleet) but also against friendly fire. That fire comes from Donald Trump, who has ramped up his long-standing proposal that the US buy Greenland and now wants to force Denmark to relinquish the strategic island. That puts Frederiksen and her government in a bind. Since Trump seems utterly sincere about forcing Denmark to sell, Frederiksen has to defend Denmark’s (and Greenland’s) right to take its own decisions. At the same time, a small country can’t afford to alienate its most powerful ally.

This acute predicament prompted Frederiksen to invite a few friends over for dinner. On 27 January, Prime Minister Ulf Kristersson of Sweden, Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre and President Alexander Stubb of Finland dined with Frederiksen at her home, and it was the kind of family meal one shares with one’s best friends: simple food served on everyday china, with no formalities and certainly no formal wear. We don’t know what the four leaders discussed, but it’s clear that Greenland was on the agenda. Indeed, the fact that the four leaders dined together and documented their uncomplicated get-together was an important signal in Trump’s direction. While none of the four countries can afford to offend the US president, they can still send a message, which was that Denmark has the support of its neighbours, and that’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s what one does for friends.

The picture also sent another message: that it is possible for countries, and their leaders, to have close and trusting relationships. For as long as I can remember, travelling between Sweden and Denmark has involved no passport. The Nordic countries, in fact, conceived a Schengen-style area long before the thought was even feasible in continental Europe. All of them are committed members of the EU, not to mention NATO, but they also have their own groups and initiatives, all of them collaborative and none of them aggressive or in any way harmful to anyone else.

Imagine having neighbours like that: countries that will never invade. Countries that will never cause deliberate harm. Countries one can collaborate with on the basis of mutual trust. Countries with which one can think up new forms of cooperation. Countries that will even come to one’s aid in times of need. The Nordic countries haven’t always been good friends, but for decades they’ve been demonstrating what harmonious and productive national relationships can look like. It has nothing to do with party politics, either. Frederiksen leads a centre-left party, Kristersson leads a centre-right party, Gahr Støre leads a centre-left party and Stubb has spent his career as a centre-right politician (although the Finnish president is not elected on a party basis).

Such relations stand in contrast to those of other nearby countries: Russia-Ukraine, Russia-Estonia, Russia-Latvia, Russia-Lithuania; in fact, Russia and most of its neighbours. Elsewhere in the world, too, countries are uneasy about their neighbours or even in open conflict with them. Consider, for example, countries in the Gulf, India-Pakistan, Rwanda-DRC, North Korea-South Korea, Bangladesh-Myanmar. The list is  long, and it’s getting longer.

Today it also includes the United States and Mexico and the United States and Canada. Not that long ago, the trio had friendly relations, albeit not the intimate relationship the Nordic countries enjoy. Now that relationship is in tatters. Crystia Freeland, until recently Canada’s deputy prime minister and finance minister, felt that she had to respond to the US president’s threats to incorporate Canada into the United States. ‘Why are you threatening us? The answer is as simple as it is sad: We are just one piece on your geopolitical chessboard. You’ve chosen to humiliate your friends before moving on to tackle your true adversaries,’ she wrote in an op-ed in the Washington Post earlier this month. ‘Here’s the thing, though: The threats won’t work. We will not escalate, but we will not back down,’ she continued.

Bizarrely, like Canada, Denmark now has to worry about the intentions of the United States. But Denmark has that most priceless of things: neighbours that are also its friends. Other countries are watching Denmark, and one thing is certain: all of them wish they had its neighbours.